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Posted by on Oct 23, 2013 in Educate, Elevate, Inspiration, Soul Food | 0 comments

You My Friend, Are Enough.

You My Friend, Are Enough.


Courtesy Vonae DeyshawnEducator, Activist, Public Speaker

When was the last time you doubted your ability to do something? Land a job, make a good impression, give a presentation, make someone proud, or simply cook a good meal?

I say simply, but who am I kidding?

I’m probably the only woman in America who has to pray while prepping a meal, cooking it, and as I put it down on the table; pleading with God to please let it taste good so that my one year old doesn’t send it crashing to the floor. I’ll admit it, I suffer from a severe case of cooking deficiency or dare I say it . . . inadequacy.

If we’re being honest, don’t we all suffer from feelings of being anything but adequate from time to time? What does it mean to be adequate anyway? Why on Earth is it important? And most importantly, you’re probably wondering why am I making such a huge fuss about it? Well I’m glad you asked. My hope is that you would find hope, meaning and value in this life and frankly there’s no better place to start than the subject of adequacy.

Adequate . . . A simple eight letter word meaning,

enough for some need or requirement.

Or put another way,

 the state of being good enough!

Thank you Webster.

And there it is. A word whose meaning is the exact opposite of the way we view ourselves in different situations, seasons and positions in life. Of course we know its meaning as we use it casually in everyday conversation, but why does the reality seem so illusive and impossible for us to hang on to?

You see, although we find each minute flaw of ours, we have a heavenly father who says we are enough.

You my friend are enough!

Instead of measuring our worth on our position, career title, the house we live in, or the car we drive, God wants us to see ourselves the way He does. I love the constant whisper in my heart, “You’re more than enough.”

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into feelings of inadequacy. We look at our lives and compare it to her. You know, that gorgeous girl everyone wants to be friends with. The top executive who always has a clever answer that makes everyone laugh. The writer who gets to travel for a living, getting paid to jet set while chronicling her adventures in fashion. Those girls, they have it all together. They’re qualified, dignified and all around fabulous.

Who could ever compare to them?


No, never.

I know this feeling all too well. Yes, I struggle with inadequacy too and so does that “perfect” girl. And you probably thought I had it all figured out? Not quite.

In the past few months, I had the opportunity to transition into a new position within the organization I work for. At first I was ecstatic! Ideas, dreams and goals poured in from all sides.

“I could do this job with my eyes closed.”

Or so I thought. The internal and external voices reminding me just how unqualified I was certainly didn’t help. Although the position was something I had been doing in a smaller capacity for the organization for six years, once it became my career, I could think of a thousand reasons I shouldn’t in fact be doing it. I mean seriously, who would trust me to give others advice?

As I struggled with the looming weight of inadequacy, I felt God say, “Would you just stop! You don’t have to be anyone different than who I’ve created you to be. You were chosen because of who you are, your passion and what you’re already doing. Just be you.”

That was the key that released me from my plague of not being good enough.

I was chosen because of my personality, passion and drive. While some gawked at my placement in the new role, I began to understand that it wasn’t because of how much theology I could rattle off, but because I cared. I may never be able to spout information from the top of my head like the next expert, but I can love people and make them feel cared about. In short, I can be good at being me. Not someone else.

Inadequacy, a word meaning lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose is the exact opposite. It’s the state of not being enough for a purpose. It’s overwhelming, daunting and crippling. Inadequacy keeps us in the place we are in right at this moment. Frozen in time afraid to take a step forward or back; just there.

It’s like a heavy weight pressing down on us from all sides. Do you feel it? Those voices telling you that you couldn’t possibly get that job promotion or lead that team of men? That the investment you were seeking wont ever be yours because that company historically doesn’t fund women. Or maybe you’re a working mom, feeling the guilt of having to leave your child while your friends stay home doing the “professional mommy” thing. They don’t mean to, but the guilt trip they provide because you have to work for a living cripples your heart.

There are entirely too many opportunities to feel less than. Too many opportunities to point to our weaknesses and say, “See, see! This is why I can’t accomplish this or that. I am a woman. I am a mom. I am a teacher. I’m not paid enough. I’m the only woman in my organization. They don’t respect women . . .”

And the list goes on.

In order to reach a place of knowing that we are more than enough, we have to accept it for ourselves. No one will ever make us know the truth that God created us for a purpose and specific calling; that we are beautifully and wonderfully made and because of that reality, we can overcome anything that is thrown at us. We must accept the truth that we are more than enough despite what a teacher, parent, spouse, co-worker or ex-boyfriend has spoken over our lives. When we embrace that truth we will be free to live in the promise that we are and always will be,